yoga_snob_quiz


By YJ Editor  |  

Could your yoga obsession be alienating the people around you? Take this quiz to find out.

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1. Where do you practice yoga?

Everywhere.
Only at studios that offer an elevated spiritual experience.
Only at studios with senior teachers within my yoga style or discipline.
Only the most elite, spa-tastic, beautiful studios around. My perfectly
pedicured toes cannot touch anything less than the best.
Only studios that I know have eco-friendly floors and PVC-free mats.

2. How do you choose a yoga class?

I demand a resume and personal meeting with the teacher to ensure he
or she hasn’t been influenced by any obscure methods.
I send my personal assistant for a full report on which celebrities attend.
I won’t practice with commoners.
I follow my guru where he/she leads me. I’m interested more in the metaphysical (rather than the physical) experience of yoga.
I go wherever my spirit leads me.
I visit YogaJournal.com to search the yoga directory.

3. Where did you purchase your last yoga outfit?

It was gift from my guru. I wear clothing only that has been blessed by a higher being.
The diamond-encrusted sports bra I bought at the Dolce and Gabbana sample
sale brings out my inner goddess.
I don’t remember, but I’m sure it was fair-trade, organic, and
tie-dyed.
Target.
I renounce all material goods in my search for enlightenment.

4. What kind of water bottle do you bring to class?

I can’t be bothered to carry water with me. I buy the $5 designer
bottled water at the studio.
I would never drink water that has not been blessed by my spiritual guide.
I use an ecofriendly canteen, decorated with chakra charts and peace signs.
I would never drink water during class. My yoga style teaches that water
puts out my internal fire.

5. When you need advice on maintaining your yoga lifestyle, where do you go?

I draw inspiration from my teachers, my experiences, and the world around
me.
My zafu.
I spring for the hot stone massage, facial, manicure, and private yoga session.
YogaJournal.com, of course.
I refer to books written by the founder of the yoga style I practice, or
teachers whom the founder has deemed appropriate.

6. After whom do you model your yoga practice?

Gwyneth Paltrow. We carry the same yoga mat bag and everything!
My own teacher only.
The Buddha or another spiritual icon.
I don’t mimmick others. I use yoga to become more in tune with my
authentic self.
George Harrison. Give me love, give me peace on earth.

7. What song always puts you in the mood to bust out a yoga pose?

Whatever Beyonce is belting.
Only kirtan for me, please. Everything else devalues the practice.
The Anusara Invocation, The Invocation to Patanjali, or something else that
reminds me of my particular style of yoga.
The music in my heart and the breath in my nostrils is all I need to remind
me of my practice.

8. What’s your favorite drink for rehydration after yoga?

Only Yogi Tea for me, thanks.
Jamba Juice with an extra protein boost.
A pink Cosmopolitan from the bar at wherever the party happens to be that
night.
Something earthy, like a YerbaMatte or a shot of wheat grass.

9. What do you before class while you’re waiting for your teacher to
arrive?

Quietly sit on my mat and stare at my toes, careful not to make eye contact
with anyone else.
Look around the room, to ensure that I look better in my spandex than anyone
else. If someone looks better than me, I go change immediately.
I acknowledge / bow to the person to my left and right.
I already know everyone in class so I chat with my friend about how unfortunate
it is that some people think they’re practicing yoga, when they
really aren’t.

10. Who are your closest friends?

No one who would be seen in a gym yoga class, that’s for sure.
I acknowledge the beauty and grace in everyone I meet.
Those who pray together, stay together.
My best friends are the people who buy the best presents.

11. When you’re in yoga class and the teacher introduces a pose in a
way that’s different from what you practice, how do you react?

Grimace. I can’t wait to tell my teacher about THIS one!
Keep an open mind—just because it isn’t my approach, doesn’t
mean it isn’t legitimate.
I probably wouldn’t notice. I’d be too busy making sure there
are no wrinkles in my cute pants.
I close my eyes and say a quick prayer that no one gets hurt.
I go with the flow.

12. It’s your birthday: What do you ask for?

World Peace.
A day at the spa, because I deserve it!
A yoga workshop with the founder of the style of yoga I practice.
I don’t need presents, I seek only presence.
A weeklong silent retreat in an ashram.