Pressures of Partnering

Consider both the benefits and the possible drawbacks of asking your students to pair up during yoga class.

By Kelly McGonigal

Practicing Ahimsa in Partner Yoga

One rule of thumb is to encourage your students to opt out of any pose they don't feel comfortable doing, says Susanne Murtha, director of the Yoga in the Adirondacks studio in Bakers Mills, NY. Communication is key. When she teaches partner work, she repeatedly reminds her students to talk with their partners. It's also a good idea to let the partner with any limitation or less range of motion sets the boundary for the pose, she says.

Desiree Rumbaugh, an Anusara Yoga teacher who guides partner exercises in the workshops she teaches worldwide, suggests keeping to simple, minimally invasive exercises for beginning students.. "Save the more complicated techniques for workshops or classes with seasoned students. And demonstrate partner work very clearly to avoid mishaps."

No matter what kind of partner-work you teach, keep in mind that the risk extends beyond physical safety—many students and teachers are concerned about the emotional aspect of touching and being touched. "The kind of vulnerability people experience in yoga class is not to be taken lightly." Kaminoff says. "Touching other people is a skill that needs to be approached with consciousness."

The Power of Connection

With all these risks, why teach partner exercises at all? For many teachers, the community-building benefit outweighs the challenges involved with partner-work.

"We are not a touch culture, yet we desperately need to connect with others," says Alanna Kaivalya, an advanced certified Jivamukti Yoga instructor from New York City, says, I find that partner work can get people out of their own heads and into feeling compassion for their fellow yogis."

This is consistent with the philosophy of Anusara Yoga. "One of our main goals is to build community and learn how to care for and help others," says Rumbaugh. "Our lives are so isolated these days. Partner work offers opportunities to establish trust with others."

Yet according to my own informal research, the number-one student complaint about partner exercises is being forced to work with others. In the recent salon.com article "Why I Hate Partner Yoga," Catherine Price writes, "When I go to yoga, it's because I crave solitude. I do not want to think about other people . . . I want to be left alone."

It's a reasonable request, says Kaminoff. "If I was going in expecting a 'normal' class and I was suddenly asked to do partner work, I'd be upset."

However, many teachers see the "leave me alone" perspective as incompatible with the broader aims of yoga practice. "Not wanting to engage with others is the antithesis of what we try to create in yoga," Kaivalya says. "We are trying to get people to see past 'otherness' to find the Oneness. If you're not willing to connect with someone else in yoga, then you're missing a great opportunity for compassionate transformation."

Relax into Discomfort

Some teachers even view the resistance and discomfort that arise during partner yoga as an important part of the practice—much like learning to relax at the edge of resistance in a deep stretch.

A little discomfort is a necessary part of learning how to apply yoga to everyday life, says Kaivalya "If we constantly stay in our comfort zone, alone on our own mat, it's going to be difficult to find the tools to stay present when we're suddenly face to face with someone who challenges us."

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