Healing Crisis as Teacher: Share with Us

My partner was diagnosed with ovarian cancer 6 1/2 years ago. Through her illness and eventual death, my yoga mat was sanctuary, sustaining life force and refuge. Some days I only laid on my mat, but it was my healing time. Following her death, I went to as many yoga classes as I wanted as some days, it was all I could do. Not only did my yoga practice - strength, balance, flexibiilty deepen, but slowly I began to embrace life again and choose to be here. Life off the mat became liveable again. I took Kripalu Teacher's training during this time and now teach 4 times a week at a athletic club and my workplace. I often tell people yoga saved my life as I do not know how I would have made it through this experience without the support of my daily practice.

My healing crisis occurred as I prepared myself for an impending layoff from the company I had worked for 12 years. My profession had been that of graphic designer for many years, and as I feverishly created a digital portfolio of my work, sample CDs and business cards while simultaneously archiving the design work I had done over 6 1/2 years as their "in-house one person" design department, I overworked my wrists, the outer edge of my hands (I often worked with an electronic tablet and stylus, thus putting constant pressure on the joint connecting hand and wrist) and my upper right arm. I was unemployed, trying to look for work, in constant pain (turning door knobs was excruciating) and consequently unable to work at the keyboard without suffering, and terrified that I would have to have surgery that would wipe me out financially.

During this time of having to let so many things go for financial survival, I continued attending my weekly Anusara yoga class, which was a physical and emotional life-saver. I was also deep in the throes of Peri-menopause, experiencing hot flashes, night sweats and mood swings and anxiety that were like PMS x100. My instructor told me about a workshop one of his friends and colleagues was giving on Yoga and Menopause, and I immediately signed up for it. Just being in that group of women provided a healing community, helping me better understand and accept my symptoms with grace. Then the instructor shared a story about her own healing, of how she was able to avoid carpal-tunnel surgery through some simple yoga exercises. I nearly cried, seeing a viable path to healing without invasive procedures. After the class, she taught me a very simple yet miraculously effective hand and wrist stretching sequence–and after the first few times of introducing it into my almost daily home practice, I began to feel the pain lessen.

It is now 2 1/2 years later and I have been completely free of the excruciating and debilitating pain I thought would end my ability to work or bring me to financial desperation–all through the yoga practice I did and continue to do on my own nearly every day. Combined with my daily Christian Meditation practice, which is beautifully complemented by Anusara yoga, it has saved my life and sanity. I have also entered full Menopause, and without the use of medication am finding it not only tolerable, but on some level enjoyable!

I was diagnosed with RA last year (6/2008). Yoga started me on a path of healing and compassion. I had to learn to accept new limitations and adjust how I approached certain asanas.

Downward dog had always been my haven, but with RA I could not bear the pressure on my wrists. Things that had once been so easy for me became frustrating and painful. My fellow trainees flowed gracefully through asanas. While I felt stiff and slow.

Eventually, I learned what I could do and ways to adjust. Flares sent me to restorative. On good days, I could take an anusara class. Iyengar became my mainstay.

The key thing I learned had nothing to do with the mechanics of asana but embracing compassion and spirituality. Yoga was the first step on my healing path. On that path, I met myself and discovered my inner healer.