Feel Your Way

Our intense emotions—even negative ones, like fear, anger, sadness, and grief—can be a path to spiritual growth.

By Sally Kempton

The Inner Shift

Sam runs a video documentary company with a business partner, Paul. In last year's tight economy, their company was on the verge of going under. Then Sam was asked to make a proposal to a big corporation. If it was accepted, their business would be saved.

On the morning that Sam was scheduled to make the presentation, Paul had a meltdown—he said he wanted to do the presentation; he was tired of having Sam be the star of the company. Sam refused, and the two wrangled painfully until it was time to leave for the business meeting. Sam's mind was churning, his adrenaline was up, and he was wading through his own swamp of confused feelings, not the least of which was extreme guilt over losing his temper. For a moment, he panicked; how was he going to face the potential investors in his emotionally disheveled state?

Then Sam took a few deep breaths. As he did, he found his attention powerfully drawn into the feeling of anger. He held steady with it for a while. Suddenly, he said, there was a kind of implosion. It was as if a skin had come off his awareness and something large, strong, and centered had unfurled itself inside.

It sounded to me like a spontaneous experience of what is sometimes called witness-consciousness—some deep inner stillness and presence had revealed itself. Throughout the crucial meeting, Sam's mind was unusually clear and focused. The presentation went so well that he ended up taking a long, companionable walk with one of the client's principle negotiators.

Several hours later, Sam phoned Paul. To his surprise, Paul reported that he too had experienced an inner shift. He had realized how much he valued his friendship with Sam, how much more important it was than their differences. He did not care what it took to work things out, Paul said; he wanted them to preserve the partnership.

Sam's experience is not so unusual for people who are willing to work with their emotional energy. When we have the fortitude to hold steady with negative emotions without getting caught up in our thoughts about them, they actually collapse—all on their own—into the energy of which they are made.

I've found that when I'm serious about this inner practice, the external circumstances that triggered my emotion often get resolved as well, just as Sam experienced. Misunderstandings get cleared up, sticky relationships dissolve or disentangle themselves. When we get to the core energy inside ourselves, we open up to the force that some people call grace and that Carl Jung called synchronicity. It's a power that transcends duality, and it's one of the great natural forces for positive change.

Some issues aren't so easy to resolve, of course, and we can't expect that making a one-time inner shift will take care of everything that's difficult in our lives. Sam and Paul had to do a lot more negotiating to make their partnership work smoothly; Linda needed to take a hard look at why she kept becoming involved with men who weren't available. And sometimes, the dive inside can turn into a way of escaping the hard work of digging through the issues in our outer lives. (How many frustrated husbands and wives have said to their yogi spouses, "Will you stop acting so damned detached and talk to me"?)

Page 1 2 3 4 5

See All Meditation Articles »