Kind Ambition

Living the yoga principles of detachment and nongrasping doesn't mean you can't be ambitious. In fact, applying them to your goals can make you more successful and happier, too.

By Alison Stein Wellner

Often, as Herz found, easing off from full-out pursuit of a goal serves the cause of nonviolence. But not always. For David Walsh, a 32-year-old comic in Boston, ahimsa demands that he work even harder to fulfill his dreams. On most nights of the week, he and his brother perform their act in clubs throughout the Northeast. But what he would really like to do is direct and write movies.

He hopes his nightclub gigs will lead to television work, and from there to movies. It won't be easy. Walsh estimates it can take thousands of hours to hone six minutes of good material. This can take a toll, and the strain leads some entertainers to try to wring more out of their bodies with drugs and alcohol. Walsh's yoga practice serves as a reminder that he should not do himself harm—and that there are no shortcuts to achieving his ambitions. "Yoga reminds me that my body is not exactly a temple, but it's the only thing I have," he says. That means he has to stay focused on getting enough sleep each night, making it to yoga class, doing his work, and avoiding the worst of the unhealthy nightclub lifestyle.

Cultivate Contentment

Samtosha, or contentment, is another element to think about when you're setting goals. It can keep you from reaching for unattainable ones. For instance, every time Walsh performs onstage, there's always one guy who's not laughing. So I start thinking, What's wrong with me? How do I get this guy to laugh? Walsh still wants every person in the room to laugh when they're supposed to, but he's less worried about it than he used to be.

A few simple techniques can help you set realistic but challenging goals, says Steven Danish, a psychologist and the director of the Life Skills Center at Virginia Commonwealth University, in Richmond. First, you must state the goal positively. If you set a goal of never eating dessert again, you'll only find yourself obsessing about dessert. Instead, vow to eat more healthful desserts. Second, the goal should be specific. "You have to know when you reach it," Danish says. "A lot of people, when they get close to their goal, always move the bar a little further, so they're never there." It's important to be able to say, "Hey, I did it." And then you can set a new goal. Third, the goal must be important to you—not to your friends, your boss, your wife, or your father.

Finally, the goal must be something you can control. A goal that aims to change another person's behavior violates this principle. So, too, does an ambition to land a specific new job. You can only control whether you apply, how well you present yourself, and how well you interview, Danish says. You don't control whether you get the job or not.

Enjoy the Process

The key to balanced ambition is to focus on the process, not the outcome of your actions. In yoga terms, this is detachment, or nongrasping. For ambitious people this can be tough to integrate, Forbes acknowledges. But any goal you set your sights on—whether it's being the first female vice president of your corporation, winning a marathon, or losing 50 pounds—involves many factors outside your control. And even when a goal does depend mostly on your own actions, you can never perform perfectly at all times. So it's important to focus on your behaviors—and get real about what you can and can't control.

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