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Get Carried Away

You've tried everything and still aren't where you want to be. So stop struggling and let life move through you.

By Sally Kempton

Fight for What's Right.

My favorite surrender story was told to me by my old friend Ed. An engineer by profession, he was spending some time in India, at the ashram of his spiritual teacher. At one point, he was asked to help supervise a construction project, which he quickly found was being run incompetently and on the cheap. No diplomat, Ed rushed into action, arguing, amassing proof, bad-mouthing his colleagues, and staying up nights scheming about how to get everyone to see things his way. At every turn, he met resistance from the other contractors, who soon took to subverting everything he tried to do.

In the midst of this classic impasse, Ed's teacher called them all to a meeting. Ed was asked to explain his position, and then the contractors started talking fast. The teacher kept nodding, seeming to agree. At that moment, Ed had a flash of realization. He saw that none of this mattered in the long run. He wasn't there to win the argument, save the ashram money, or even make a great building. He was there to study yoga, to know the truth—and obviously, this situation had been designed by the cosmos as the perfect medicine for his efficient engineer's ego.

At that moment, the teacher turned to him and said, "Ed, this man says you don't understand local conditions, and I agree with him. So, shall we do it his way?"

Still swimming in the peace of his newfound humility, Ed folded his hands. "Whatever you think best," he said.

He looked up to see the teacher staring at him with wide, fierce eyes. "It's not about what I think," he said. "It's about what's right. You fight for what's right, do you hear me?"

Ed says that this incident taught him three things. First, that when you surrender your attachment to a particular outcome, things often turn out better than you could ever have imagined. (Eventually, he was able to persuade the contractors to make the necessary changes.) Second, that a true karma yogi is not someone who goes belly-up to higher authority; instead, he's a surrendered activist—a person who does his best to help create a better reality while knowing that he's not in charge of outcomes. Third, that the attitude of surrender is the best antidote to one's own anger, anxiety, and fear.

I often tell this story to people who worry that surrender means giving up, or that letting go is a synonym for inaction, because it illustrates so beautifully the paradox behind "Thy will be done." As Krishna—the great mythic personification of higher will—tells Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita, surrender sometimes means being willing to get into a fight.

A truly surrendered person may look passive, especially when something appears to need doing, and everyone around is shouting, "Get a move on, get it done, this is urgent!" Seen in perspective, however, what looks like inaction is often simply a recognition that now is not the time to act. Masters of surrender tend to be masters of flow, knowing intuitively how to move with the energies at play in a situation. You advance when the doors are open, when a stuck situation can be turned, moving along the subtle energetic seams that let you avoid obstructions and unnecessary confrontations.

Such skill involves an attunement to the energetic movement that is sometimes called universal or divine will, the Tao, flow, or, in Sanskrit, shakti. Shakti is the subtle force—we could also call it the cosmic intention—behind the natural world in all of its manifestations.

Surrender starts with a recognition that this greater life force moves as you. One of my teachers, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, once said that to surrender is to become aware of God's energy within oneself, to recognize that energy, and to accept it. It's an egoless recognition—that is, it involves a shift in your sense of what "I" is—which is why the famous inquiry "Who am I?" or "What is the I?" can be a powerful catalyst for the process of surrender. (Depending on your tradition and your perspective at the time, you may recognize that the answer to this question is "Nothing" or "All that is"—in other words, consciousness, shakti, the Tao.)

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Reader Comments

Chats

This article is wonderfully written. Often wondered but could not have not come across a better explanation for this very difficult concept called 'surrender'. That it is not 'giving up' but a larger dimension of Faith altogether, of being Centered in one self and in the Higher Consciousness. Thank you.

julianne

it is so difficult to know whether god is testing your persistence or asking you to surrender. More examples would be helpful, especially ones that relate to job hunting.

Ted Daniels

<Sigh>
Here's something I finished writing this minute, just before I got this note in my email:

Starting with compassion for yourself doesn't expose you to anybody's judgment except of course your own, which is one of the first things you have to overcome. I say "have to" and I mean it. Compassion for yourself, self(ish) love is the necessary first step, maybe the hardest. It might be relevant here that all my life until maybe three years ago I struggled with shame. It was eating my life and I could see that and that I had to deal with it someway. Trouble was, there wasn't a way that worked, including way too many f*cking years of therapy.

The punch line here of course is that I did end it. Here's how. Carol and I were going to a friend's son's Jewish wedding, which revived an interesting antique custom. As we entered the hall we found a little table with a basket, some pens and a pad, and a note that said the couple wanted to revive the custom of writing prayers on sheets of the pad and putting them in the basket. It would be put under the chupah (wedding canopy) before the service began. This would make the prayers accessible to G_d's grace as he rained it down on the couple. Apparently His aim ain't all that great. Anyway, Carol had been on my case on the way there about something I'd done or not, and the shame was eating at me.

I saw this setup and figured what the hell, it couldn't hurt, nobody'd know, and besides I was getting nowhere on my own. So I wrote "Uproot my shame" on the pad, tore off and folded the paper, put it in the basket.

It worked, of course. I no longer do shame. That disease is cured. I figure there may be two reasons why it worked: Probably the most important was the fact that I had given up on solving it myself, put it in the hand of a Higher Power, even one I don't admire much. That's a thing 12 step people do with some success. The other part of it seems to have been that this was a communal ritual. There were about 200 more or less devout folks there, a lot of them outside smoking dope through most of the reception, but still.

So it seems to take a measure of compassion for yourself to give up in that particular way.

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