The Truth about Tantra

Promising physical and spiritual ecstasy, Tantra workshops lure couples who want more from their relationships. But what really goes on?

By Todd Jones

In the morning, when the couples reconvene and begin to share their experiences, Anja validates part of Charles's forecast: "I would say it was the most romantic time in my life, the most happy moment in my life, and now I am so peaceful. I think I am joining with my higher consciousness in a way I've never been before, and I know it's going to influence my work." (In class, Anja talks mostly of the spiritual effects of the evening, but in later conversation she also mentions "wave after wave of orgasmic energy" that ran through her body for almost two hours.)

Though none of the other women report transports of ecstasy, all the couples tell stories of increased intimacy, of insights and breakthroughs. For the most demonstratively passionate couple in the group, Tom and Leslie, the exciting shift wasn't in sexual intensity but in emotional vulnerability. "The biggest gift," says Tom, "was Leslie crying in my arms, which had never happened before." Many of the men reveled in their role as giver and healer, delighting in pleasing and nurturing their partners; some also enjoyed an unexpected freedom from performance anxiety.

Not that everyone had smooth sailing. For Susie, the sacred spot massage was painful—both physically and emotionally. "When Bill started to massage my sacred spot, it was uncomfortable, and it brought up all my issues. So I cried and screamed and ranted and raved, and then I cried some more. Bill cried too." Despite her pain, Susie felt "it was still a healing experience. I'm starting to realize that healing doesn't happen in one fell swoop. Last night I got a piece of healing." Turning to Bill, she says, "What I really appreciated was that you were there for me." Looking back at the group, she says firmly, "He was really there the whole time. And I realized that he has been there for me for a long time; I just didn't see it."

Beaming back at her, Bill drawls, "I got yelled at all night, and I loved it. I feel a little guilty. I was supposed to be the giver, and I received so much. After a couple of hours, it dawned on me that I didn't have to try to quiet my mind. It just happened. Of course, the greatest blessing was that last night was the first time in my life I ever felt like a healer."

True Tantra?

Despite positive reports from participants in workshops like the Muirs', some scholars and teachers of more traditional Tantric pathways criticize modern, Western interpretations of Tantra as having little in common with Tantra as practiced over the centuries in India, Nepal, and Tibet.

Tantra began to blossom as a distinct movement within both Buddhism and Hinduism around A.D. 500, reaching its fullest flowering 500 to 700 years later. From its very beginning, Tantra has been a radical teaching that challenged religious orthodoxy. Within Hinduism, Tantra stood in contrast to the Vedic practices of the Brahmins (the priestly caste of Indian culture), who presided over a religion of dutifully performed rituals and strict adherence to standards of purity forever out of reach of the lower castes. Within Buddhism, says University of Virginia religious studies professor Miranda Shaw, Tantra "arose outside the powerful Buddhist monasteries as a protest movement initially championed by lay people rather than monks and nuns."

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