Being vs. Doing

To many people, there seems to be an inherent conflict between being in the present and accomplishing everything that needs to get done. But do you have to choose between your housework and meditation?

By Stephan Bodian

If you practice hatha yoga, you're no doubt familiar with this scenario: You've had an invigorating and inspiring practice session in which your mind was totally focused on your body and your breath. By the time you're done, you have a deep sense of peace and relaxation that seems to pervade every cell. You feel centered, balanced, in touch with yourself. You vow not to let this feeling slip away as the day progresses.

But halfway through the work day, you're overwhelmed by the press of urgent e-mails and encroaching deadlines, and you've completely lost the connection and composure you had. Even more disturbing, you have no idea how to get it back. It's as if a door has closed on a deeper dimension, a place of balance and flow, and you can't figure out how to open it again. By the end of the day, you're frazzled and stressed out, and you can't wait to get home to your yoga mat.

Of course, you don't have to be a hatha yogi to be acquainted with this terrain. Perhaps you find your connection to being through tai chi or running, walking in nature or playing with your children. Whatever the activity, you enter a zone where you feel poised, open, relaxed, and attentive. In the midst of the doing, there's a sense of enjoyment, fulfillment, and alignment with a deeper current of aliveness. But as soon as you position yourself behind the wheel of your car or sit down in front of your computer, you tense your shoulders, hold your breath, increase your speed, and lose touch with yourself. What happened, you wonder. How did I lose my balance? Where did I go wrong?

The Crucible of Everyday Life
As a zen teacher and psychotherapist, I've worked with hundreds of meditators, hatha yogis, and spiritual seekers who agonize over this issue. They've read the latest books, heard the teachings, attended the retreats, practiced the techniques diligently, and vowed to implement them. Yet they continue to be seduced back into their old habits and routines: overbooking their schedules, speeding up to match the pace of their technological devices, completely forgetting to stop, breathe, and be present. Instead of bringing what they've learned on their meditation cushion or yoga mat to the crucible of everyday life, they lose their balance and go unconscious again and again.

There's no question that we live in uniquely challenging times. We're working longer hours, taking fewer vacations, and feeling more hurried and stressed than ever before. At the same time, our lives are changing more rapidly, and we can no longer rely on keeping the same job or partner for a lifetime—or even for the next few years. As a result, we're constantly confronted with major life choices that seem to threaten our physical survival and require that we spend more time than ever in our minds, assessing and deciding. "Our lives are extraordinarily complex," says psychologist Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., author of Inner Peace for Busy People (Hay House, 2001), "and we're being bombarded with choices, both significant and trivial, that demand a great deal of effort and energy to make."

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