Being vs. Doing

To many people, there seems to be an inherent conflict between being in the present and accomplishing everything that needs to get done. But do you have to choose between your housework and meditation?

By Stephan Bodian

Not only do our lives move faster, but they also lack the flow of simpler times, when the measured rhythms of nature and physical labor modeled an intrinsic balance between being and doing. These days we're pulled staccato from one urgent input to another, from cell phone to e-mail, PalmPilot to pager, forced to mold our analog bodies to the digital age. "The sheer volume of information impinges on us and keeps us in a state of physiological arousal," says Borysenko.

Given the unprecedented demands of postmodern life, perhaps we just expect too much of ourselves. Without the supportive structure of sacred communities like monasteries and ashrams, in a secular world that seems to be spinning insanely out of balance, is it really possible to stay consistently connected to just being while pursuing material success, a healthy body, a fulfilling relationship? "What's new to our times is not that we're having difficulty maintaining balance, but that so many people who don't live in monasteries have awakened to the spiritual dimension and don't quite know how to find a place for it in their lives," observes Buddhist psychiatrist Mark Epstein, author of Going on Being (Broadway Books, 2001).

Certainly regular retreats and workshops can help. As we deepen and expand our awareness, we find it easier to notice when we're lost in striving so we can more readily reconnect with the present moment. But intensive practice is not necessarily a panacea. In fact, I've watched many clients, friends, and colleagues struggle with the transition from retreat to everyday life. "After my first vipassana retreat in 1980, I saw a legitimate way to slow down and relax," says Anna Douglas, a founding teacher at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, California. "I was given permission to move at the rhythm of life. Then I entered a phase of trying to make my life like this all the time. I got rid of my belongings, became a retreat junkie, and dreaded going back into the world." As her practice matured, however, Douglas saw that she needed to integrate retreat life and daily life. "Meditation teaches us the value of being, but we need to bring this being quality into the doing world."

The Ultimate Forgetting
The deeper question is, What prevents us? In a memorable exchange with my teacher, Jean Klein, a master of Advaita and Kashmiri yoga, I asked him whether it was possible to stay connected to being in the present even in the most difficult life situations. He invited me to see that I was trapped in a world of spiritual concepts and to notice the moments in daily life when the sense of a separate me was absent. I stopped to absorb what he had said. "Yes," I responded finally, "I know what you're talking about. But somehow I keep forgetting." "Ah, forgetting," he said, with a knowing smile. "The ultimate forgetting."

Despite our best intentions, there seem to be powerful inner forces at work that induce this "ultimate forgetting" and sabotage our genuine attempts to create balance and peace in the midst of activity. From my experience with clients, friends, and my own spiritual unfolding, here is a list of the most influential:

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