There’s always room to improve your relationships, be that with your in-laws, a potential love interest, or a long-distance friend. Foster those connections by looking to the stars—or, more specifically, the planets.
“Relationships aren’t a zero-sum game,” says astrologer Jessica Lanyadoo, co-author of Astrology for Real Relationships. “They’re not about compatibility. They’re about shared values.” That means that connecting with another person isn’t solely about aligning astrological signs. It’s important, too, to sit back and examine the bonds we’ve formed, including our role in them—particularly when something feels off.
Getting clear on what you want from your social and close circles allows you to see what’s working for you (or not), similar to how settling into stillness during meditation paves the way for gainful reflection. To achieve this, Lanyadoo has a two-step practice to illuminate and navigate whatever relationship issue comes your way.
Step 1: Answer questions about what you want
For every relationship that vexes you, answer the following questions on paper, using a new piece for each respective bond so that you can complete the practices below: How do I want to participate in this relationship? What have I learned in 2020 about this relationship that doesn’t serve me?
Reflect on your personality traits as well as the other person’s, writing down what might be getting in the way of your connection and how you’d like to respond to setbacks. (For example, if you feel annoyed by your mom’s persistent texts, you might commit to paper that you’ll take three deep breaths before answering her messages.)
Writing with pen and paper is proven to be more effective in processing information than typing on a keyboard, according to a study published in Psychological Science. But if digital is more your style, you do you! Feeling artistic? Draw or collage your answers instead.
Step 2: Follow releasing rituals
After you’ve answered the critical questions above, follow the releasing rituals in the chart below according to your Sun sign. One caveat: During an eclipse, Lanyadoo advises you avoid performing rituals. “Doing manifestation or spiritual work during an eclipse is like building your home on a fault line during an earthquake,” Lanyadoo says. “Eclipses are seismic events, so trying to direct or coerce them is unwise.”
Looking for more rut-busting inner-peace routines? Read more: Crystal Rituals that Inspire Change at Work