How Yoga Helped Me Surrender
The more I immerse myself in yoga, the more I understand the concept of union.
Become a member to unlock this story and receive other great perks.
Already have an Outside Account? Sign in
All-Access
Intro Offer
$3.99 / month*
- A $500 value with everything in the Print + Digital Plan plus 25+ benefits including:
- Member-only content on all publications in the Outside network like Vegetarian Times, Clean Eating, Yoga Journal, Outside and more
- Outside Learn, our new online education hub loaded with more than 2,000 videos across 450 lessons
- Exclusive yoga sequences from top teachers
- More than 100 diet-specific meal plans
- Outside Watch Shows, Films, and documentaries
- Annual subscription to Outside magazine
Digital + Print
Intro Offer
$2.99 / month*
- Annual subscription to Yoga Journal magazine
- Access to all member-exclusive content on YogaJournal.com
- Ad-free access to YogaJournal.com
*Outside memberships are billed annually. Print subscriptions available to U.S. residents only. You may cancel your membership at anytime, but no refunds will be issued for payments already made. Upon cancellation, you will have access to your membership through the end of your paid year. More Details
On a stormy winter night in 2013, I was jolted awake: A pipe had burst, and the house was flooding. At the time, I was caring for my father, who’d had a stroke; worrying about my husband, who needed a kidney transplant; and mothering three children. That was on top of my job in a school library and everything else that went with keeping a home running.
I stood at the bottom of the wrap-around stairs in the hallway of our house and just buckled. Women, especially women of color, are taught to stay strong and press on. That’s not what I needed. I needed help. Through tears, I asked my husband, “Who’s taking care of the caregivers while we’re taking care of everybody else?”
It was then that I found Oprah and Deepak Chopra’s 21-day meditation program, which made me curious about asana. My first vinyasa class spoke to my soul. I attended a 10-day silent meditation retreat the next year. And in 2017, I did my first 200-hour yoga teacher training.
A year later, I signed up for a trauma-informed yoga training. There, I met a woman and her partner who were kidney donors. They helped my husband find a kidney—and they became like family. Last year, they took care of me when my husband had his transplant in the middle of the pandemic.
Yoga and meditation have given me a sense of peace and joy. When I asked for help from a place of stillness, it was amazing the way help showed up. The more I immerse myself in yoga, the more I understand the concept of union: that we are a community.
—As told to Caitlin Carlson
This story is part of Yoga Journal’s Special Report: How Yoga Can Improve Your Mental Health
Read more:
