Get access to everything we publish when you sign up for Outside+.
Feel like you’ve lost your sense of Self in the noise of social media or societal expectations? It’s time to get on the mat and reclaim who you are. Join author and yoga teacher Rina Jakubowicz for Empowered Vinyasa: Journey to Your Highest Self, a series of 10 yoga classes and companion dharma talks that zero in on principles of yoga philosophy—from The Bhagavad Gita and the Hindu spiritual tradition Vedanta—that are essential to self-exploration. Sign up today!
When I was going through a divorce 10 years ago, I used affirmation practices to try to shift my mindset during the healing process. One phrase I repeated often was “I am beautiful.”
As silly and simple as this may sound, it really helped me. Failing at a marriage is very painful and I carried a lot of judgments about myself, especially since I had been the first in the family to get a divorce. Walking around each day with this affirming thought, even if I didn’t believe it in the beginning, was life-changing. It helped me realize that my words and thoughts are powerful and that I’m in control of how I feel about myself. I began walking with confidence and maintaining a sense of calm in my communication and interactions. In addition to the affirmation practices, I started studying in the Bhagavad Gita and began to apply some of the teachings to my relationships, including in the bedroom. It took several years, but I began to develop a healthier relationship with myself and my sexuality. I learned how to break down my sexual walls and release judgment and fear to become my gorgeous, badass self from within.
I’ve learned that having sex and feeling sexy can and should come from the purest space. That will create the most euphoric and pleasurable experience for both you and your partner. I now teach “Sattvic and Sexy” workshops and courses because I want to help more women tap into this empowering space where they can stop harshly judging themselves or suppressing their sexuality.
Sattva is the highest of the three gunas (mental qualities) in Ayurveda. It means pure, poised, or objective. The lower two gunas are tamas and rajas. Tamas is a mental state of inertia, dullness, or laziness. Rajas is associated with mental agitation and hectic activity. We need rajas to move us away from tamas, but our ultimate goal is to move into sattva. If you’re passionate about something or someone but you’re overthinking, emotional, or getting caught in your head, then there’s an attachment and you’re in rajas. If you have passion from a pure place and it doesn’t control you, then you’re sattvic.
To start feeling more empowered, sexy, and content in your life and relationships, try this 8-pose sequence. Each posture is paired with an affirmation to inspire you to become the best version of yourself, both as a lady and a lover, so you can create the sex life and the spiritual life you deserve.
Then, join me for a free “Sattvic and Sexy” webinar on April 10 at 2:30 EST. I’ll share more tips for developing a healthier relationship with yourself, your sexuality, and your partner. Register today!
Samastithi (Mountain Pose)
Mountain Pose is one of the most important poses to help you gain confidence in yourself and feel sexy in your skin. It’s vital for your spiritual growth because this pose is the epitome of standing up for yourself. You are tall, grounded, and powerful without letting anything external influence you. This pose sets the stage for the mentality you need to have while doing the other poses: equal standing, steady breath, stable mind.
Sukhasana (Easy Pose) with Mula Bandha exercises
Come to a seated position and sit up tall. Press your sit bones into the floor. Take 3 deep breaths. Do 30 repetitions of Mula Bandha (Root Lock) contractions by gently squeezing and lifting your pelvic floor muscles. It’s similar to doing Kegel exercises. If you’ve never done these before, imagine you’re holding in your urine. Engaging Mula Bandha will strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which can help with floating in your asana practice and improve sexual function and arousal. As women, it’s vital that we know our sexuality is no one else’s but our own. These exercises can help you turn yourself on without needing anything or anyone else. Make sure you feel sexy and own your sexuality! Repeat the affirmation, “I own my sexuality.” When you’ve completed 30 squeezes, take 3 deep breaths.
Eka Pada Rajakapotasana (“Queen” Pigeon Pose)
Take your sexuality back! Come to all fours and place your right knee behind your right wrist. Slide your right ankle toward your left wrist. Keep your left leg straight. Lift your chest and sink your hips. Feel the stretch in your right hip and left psoas (hip-flexor muscle). Take 10 deep breaths. Change sides and take 10 deep breaths. With every breath, think “I am sattvic and sexy.”
Frog Pose variation
Come back to all fours. Separate your knees as wide as your hips can handle. Make sure your thighs are parallel to your mat. Separate your feet so that they are in line with your knees. Flex your feet. Walk your torso forward and down as low as you can handle without letting your hips shift in front of your knees. Draw your chest down as low as you comfortably can. Let your hips open and repeat the affirmation, “I trust.” Take 10 deep breaths.
Matsyasana (Fish Pose)
Lie on your back. Bring your arms by your sides and grab your thighs or sit on your hands with your arms straight. Press your elbows into the floor and lift up your chest, arch your upper back and place your head on the floor. Squeeze your shoulder blades together and lift up higher. Keep your legs engaged and straight. Take 5 deep breaths, breathing into your upper back. In this pose, feel your beauty by acknowledging the arch in your back as one created by pleasure (as one might create while receiving pleasure in the bedroom) and repeat, “I am beautiful.”
Happy Baby Pose
Stay lying on your back. Bend your knees into your chest and lift your feet toward the ceiling. Separate your knees so that they are near the outside of your ribs. Bring your arms between your knees but grab your feet from the outside. Press your feet down with your hands to feel a deep hip stretch. Take 10 deep breaths. This pose is important for you to be able to relax and open up. Repeat the affirmation, “I am open.”
Supta Baddha Konasana (Reclining Bound Angle Pose)
Lie on your back and bring the soles of your feet to touch with your knees apart. You may want to place pillows under your knees. Bring your arms out to the sides and create cactus arms with your palms facing up. This can be a very vulnerable position, so it’s important that you feel strong. Repeat the affirmation, “I am safe.” Hold this position for 20 breaths.
Savasana (Corpse Pose)
Lie on your back. Separate your legs 2 feet apart. Let your toes fall to the sides. Extend your arms by your side 1 foot away from your body. Turn your palms up. Keep your spine long by tucking the tailbone slightly under. Keep your chin slightly pulled in to elongate your neck. Close your eyes and take 5 deep breaths. Then lie here in a soft breath for at least 5 minutes. Feel every part of your body relaxing and letting go. Repeat the affirmation, “I am relaxed” over and over again until you feel your body surrender entirely.
A woman’s will is powerful. Our bodies will never make us feel sexy or unsexy. Sexiness is a state of mind. Ladies, start tapping into your highest self, spiritually and sexually. Let’s maximize our lives and make them intimately orgasmic for ourselves first, and then for our partners.